Embracing Resistance: How Challenges in Therapy Support Neuroplastic Growth and Goal Achievement
By Sydney Kurtz, LPC | Clinician at Head First Health
An aspect in therapy that almost always comes up, but I do not think is discussed enough is resistance. In therapy, when presented with something new, like challenging or reframing a thought, this is often met with some form of resistance (i.e.: “But…”). Sometimes this resistance is very strong- with people questioning if they are incapable of change or stating that because they have always been this way, that this is how they are.
Instead of accepting this resistance as a matter of fact, we can begin to view it as part of the process. In that moment, the brain is doing exactly what it is supposed to do.
Understanding Resistance: More Than Just Saying “But…”
If the brain accepted every new input as complete fact and ran with it, we would be in a constant state of flux—never actually developing concrete habits, thoughts, or behaviors. Instead, it is designed to meet new inputs with curiosity and questioning, which can feel like resistance in therapy.
The Brain’s Default Setting: Why Change Feels Hard
Have you ever heard that it takes 21 days to create a new habit? The reality is more complex. Depending on the habit and the individual, it can take anywhere from 18 to 254 days to form a new behavior. This is because the brain takes time to develop new pathways, and for these to become the “default setting,” they must be repeated and reinforced consistently.
Neuroplasticity 101: How Our Brains Adapt and Learn
Through therapy, you may recognize aspects of your life that no longer serve you and seek change. The brain can support this transformation through neuroplasticity—its ability to adapt and change in response to learning and experience.
Neuroplasticity allows us to:
Learn new things
Develop new habits
Reduce unhelpful thought patterns
Biologically, neurons (brain cells) communicate by passing signals through synapses (small gaps between neurons). When certain pathways are used repeatedly, they become stronger, more efficient, and easier for the brain to follow—eventually becoming the default behavior.
Creating New Pathways: Therapy as a Map to Growth
As you challenge old ways of thinking, reframe thoughts, and intentionally create new habits, you are building entirely new neural pathways. This is when resistance often appears. The brain prefers established pathways because they are energy-efficient. It takes more effort to forge a new trail, even if it leads to better outcomes.
Analogy: Imagine hiking. A well-trodden trail is easy to follow, while a barely used path is overgrown and difficult. The overgrown path may lead to breathtaking views, but it requires more effort to reach them. Change in therapy works the same way—resistance shows that your brain is creating something new and meaningful.
Why Age and Experience Make Change Harder—But Not Impossible
The process of neuroplasticity becomes slightly more challenging with age, as some connections are strengthened and others are eliminated. This is why children often learn languages or new skills quickly, whereas adults must approach learning with more intentionality. It’s not impossible, it just requires consistent effort, patience, and repetition to form new neural pathways.
Reframing Resistance: Seeing Challenges as Evidence of Progress
Understanding resistance in therapy can be motivating. Rather than viewing it as a roadblock, we can normalize it as part of the process. Resistance is not who you are; it’s simply your brain doing its job.
When you encounter resistance:
Recognize it as part of neuroplastic growth
Remind yourself it indicates you are moving toward change
Use it as evidence that progress is happening, even if it feels uncomfortable
Consistency, Patience, and Small Wins: How Goals Become Habits
Change takes time. With repeated practice, patience, and commitment, the new pathways your brain is creating can become the default. Embracing resistance, rather than fearing it, allows you to move toward your therapy goals with awareness and intention. Each “but…” you encounter is a step forward—a sign that your brain is reshaping itself in service of your growth.
Disclaimer: I am not a medical doctor, and this article is not intended to provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment of any kind. The views and opinions expressed here are entirely my own and are shared for informational and personal reflection purposes only. Always consult with a qualified healthcare provider regarding any medical concerns.
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