Why New Year’s Resolutions Are Not Sustainable and How That Can Look Differently This Year

By: Sydney Kurtz, LPC | Clinician at Head First Health

January is notoriously the month for New Year’s Resolutions – exercising more, saving money, eating healthier, reading more, drinking less, etc. We can likely all relate to the feeling of this being the year we finally do that thing, only to “fall off the wagon” a couple of weeks later. We then likely meet ourselves with harsh criticism and frustration and not much progress is made towards that identified thing.  Instead of viewing this as a product of our own deficiency, we should look at this with curiosity to see what we could do different with our approach to goals. On average, New Year’s resolutions last less than four months, which tells us this is not just a product of our willpower, but instead that change for everyone is very challenging. Knowing this, we can utilize this information to identify how we can make our goals for change sustainable. 

Neuroplasticity & Habit Changes 

Whenever change does not feel possible, it can be helpful to look at the science behind it- a more objective take. The process of changing habits is just the process of Neuroplasticity – our brain’s ability to change throughout our life and form new neuropathways (more information on this blog post here). Neuroplasticity is the process our brain goes through of creating new neural connections which allows us to change old patterns and create new ones more in line with our goals. We can leverage this information by looking at the science behind it- repeatedly practicing new behaviors strengthens these new behaviors and reduces old ones. This allows the behaviors to get easier over time as we continue to strengthen that new connection. This is important to remind ourselves of when change feels difficult or impossible- that the new neuropathy is being formed and with repeated behaviors, it will get easier over time as this becomes the new “default setting”. 

All or Nothing Thinking 

The phrase “falling off the wagon” was referenced earlier as this is a common thought with new goals. The idea that once someone has a couple of days or choices not in line with their goals, that all progress is lost or that there has been no change. This is an example of all or nothing thinking. This is categorized as a cognitive distortion in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. These are exaggerated or inaccurate negative thinking patterns that cause one to see themselves or the world inaccurately and often contribute to anxiety, depression, or low motivation. All or nothing specifically in this context is not allowing us to see all of the progress that has been made or all of the steps between all or nothing. This is going to be demotivating for us and not allow us to feel pride in what changes we have done. Therefore, it is very important for us to recognize these thinking patterns and the effect they are having on us. 

Mindset Shifts Towards Progress 

If we find ourselves with the all or nothing thinking, it is helpful for us to challenge those thoughts or reframe them. A notion that could be helpful is the mindset shift to progress not perfection. Or the idea of 1% better each day. Both of these allow ourselves to reframe the all or nothing thinking into slow and steady change. Not all progress is linear and allowing ourselves to have that flexibility is much more sustainable than perfectionist thinking. Perfectionist thinking often leaves us feeling demotivated when we do not meet our expectations. Reframing those expectations will allow us to slowly build change. 

Where Our Approach Might Not Be Working 

Ensuring the goals have a sustainable approach is a crucial component as to why they do not last. Too much change at once is overwhelming and not sustainable. Often people approach their goals with forced control and this is what sets them up for failure. Finding a way to reach our goals through a slow, steady and manageable way is going to ensure we are able to maintain these changes. Another component for why goals are not completed is that they are too vague. Accurately identifying what the goals are and how you will achieve those goals through a manageable way is a huge determinant of if they will be completed.

Positive Reinforcement and Goal Setting

A common misconception is that being hard on yourself will motivate one to try harder. This often looks like criticizing oneself about not meeting goals. This actually leaves us in a more defeated and demotivated state. This is the concept of negative reinforcement- negative self-talk leading to unpleasant feelings of stress and demotivation which in turn, leaves one in a constant cycle of negativity and not feeling motivated towards change. The oppositive of this is positive reinforcement- the idea that positive self-talk builds motivation and creates a cycle of positivity and achievement. Celebrating progress each step of the way is crucial towards building confidence in ourselves and momentum along the way. 

Why It’s Important To Reflect On These Steps 

Change or goals shouldn’t be exclusive to only January 1st. Throughout the year we should consistently be reflecting and identify what isn’t working for us and what we should change to make that look differently and achieve our goals. All year should be a point of reflection, growth and change but if you choose to specifically start on January 1st, proactively identifying the mindset shifts and steps along the way for a more sustainable approach could allow us to better achieve the results we want to see. Planning can set us up for success along the way. And again, reminding ourselves of the notion of progress not perfection.